


Come back to me

by LadyMorgan



Series: The life of the ... Two angels without wings [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Drama, F/M, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-04-28 08:17:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14445147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMorgan/pseuds/LadyMorgan
Summary: "Stay, I'll bring you the blanket," I called after him, but he waved and was already on the way.Then I heard him sneeze. There followed a scream and then a rumble.Frightened, I dropped the salad bowl and rushed to the stairs to see how Gabrielwas bouncing down the rest of the stairs.





	1. Chapter 1

"Finally a free weekend," Gabriel grinned, letting himself slump on the couch.

"You deserve it," I purred and lay down on his chest. He gently stroked my hair and nodded.

"What are you up to?" I asked, looking up into his eyes.

"Honestly?" He sighed and closed his eyes. "Nothing but just lying down, I think I'm getting sick, my throat hurts."

I put my hand sympathetically on his forehead and cheek, and he was really warm.

"What do you need? Shall I make you tea? "

"I just need you," he smirked, kissing my forehead. "Just you and a lot of pampering."

The rest of the day we spent with cuddling, and I lovingly took care of my husband.

 

"I'll get a blanket from the bedroom upstairs," he told me as I stood in the kitchen making dinner.

"Stay, I'll bring it to you," I called after him, but he waved and was already on the way.

Then I heard him sneeze. There followed a scream and then a rumble. Frightened, I dropped the salad bowl and rushed to the stairs to see how Gabriel was bouncing down the rest of the stairs.

"For God's sake!" I called and knelt down to him.

"Damn, that hurts," he moaned, clutching his ankle.

"Gabe, all right?" I asked in horror, staring into his wide-open eyes.

After the first shock I helped him up, he drew in a sharp breath and hobbled to the couch.

"It could've been a lot worse," he murmured, "I slipped on that blanket."

"Do not even scare me like that," I sighed, and he grinned at me.

"Do not worry, that will not kill me, but we should pad the stairs," he joked.

"How are you?" I asked as we lay in bed.

The last half hour he had once vomited and I felt so helpless.

"No idea, a little dizzy. It'll be okay, and I'm not sugar, "he said, hugging me. "I have my sexy nurse; you'll get me back on my feet."

Gabriel tried to calm me down and downplay the situation, but I knew exactly how bad he was.

"I love you, Romeo," I smirked and wanted to kiss him.

"I love you too, but we'd better leave that, bacillus transfer, I do not want to infect you too," he sniffed, gently pushing me away.

In my mind, I planned for the next day a nice long hot bath and a quick-re-healthy program and fell asleep in his arms.

 

_‚How peacefully he sleeps‘_

Smiling, I looked at my husband briefly before I sneaked down a floor to prepare a small breakfast. With two cups of fresh hot coffee and bread with jam and honey, I quietly went back to the bedroom.

"Good morning my darling, I have something to strengthen here,"

I said and put the tray on the bedside table. Since I got no reaction, I sat down to him on the bed.

"Gabriel, wake up," I whispered, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead, but he did not move.

"Gabe?" I asked, shaking him slightly.

My heart started racing, and I had goosebumps all over my body.

"Gabriel!" I screamed, and the panic came over me. He did not move, and his eyes remained closed.

I felt his pulse and his forehead. He was hot, but he breathed evenly.

_,What? ...‘_

The next few minutes I tried everything to get him to wake up. I shook him, imploring him, shouting at him. No reaction. Head over heels, I ran down the stairs and dialed the emergency call.

"I ..." I stammered into the phone.

"Take a deep breath, what kind of emergency is it?" The woman asked at the other end of the line.

"My husband is not moving anymore," I murmured, and a thick lump formed in my throat.

After I had a little grip again, I gave her the address.

Then I threw my phone away and rushed back upstairs.

"It's all a nightmare," I said and sat back down to bed with Gabriel.

 _,Immediately my trickster opens his eyes and says: I fooled you ..._ _then I will not talk to him for a week, but the main thing he's fine.‘_

Wishful thinking. He did not move a bit. I knew I should go downstairs to open the rescue crew, but my feet did not want to get going.

"I'll be right back with you, my darling," I murmured, squeezing his hand.

The drive to the hospital lasted forever, and I held his hand all the time.

"You can not go in there," the doctor said to me as Gabriel entered the emergency room and the first tears made their way out.

"Tell me what happened."

"I do not know, he said he probably got sick, had a little fever and sore throat and he vomited once ... last night everything was fine, and this morning he did not wake up," I sobbed, and the doctor put down a hand calming on my shoulder.

"Did he hurt himself?" He asked, and I stopped for a moment.

"Yeah, he fell down the stairs yesterday, but he said he was fine."

"Thanks first, I'll be back," he said and disappeared through the door.

My stomach hurt, I was hot, ice cold fingers, I got too little air, and it all turned. After an endless half hour of waiting, anxiety and trembling, the doctor came up to me.

"Her husband suffered a traumatic brain injury during the fall and dislocated his ankle, he is in a coma, but the vital signs are all in the normal range.

He has also contracted a flu infection, and we assume that this is a protective reaction of his body and the reason why he is now in a coma. "

"How long?" I asked as these words reached my brain.

"I can not tell you that, it can take a couple of hours, but it can take several weeks, it's too early to tell. We have to do more tests. "

My feet gave way, and I had to sit down. I put my elbows on my knees and buried my face in my hands. Everything was in a fog, and there was only a word in my head ... coma

"I'm sorry to give you no more positive news right now, it takes time," he said quietly, squeezing my shoulder briefly. "Should we notify someone?"

"I'll do that, thanks ... may I go to him?" I stammered, looking up at him. He nodded, and after a reassuring, 'I'm always reachable for you', he went his way.

 

I paused at the door for a moment and took a deep breath. Then I entered the room and stopped.

"Call me if there's something," the nurse smiled as she passed me and I nodded.

Then I took a chair and pushed it to the side of the bed, sat down and took his hand in mine.

"Gabriel," I said quietly, feeling the rising tears that made their way.

_,Can you hear me? Do you dream?‘_

Many times I have read reports about people in a coma or heard of it but never found an accurate answer.

"I know you can hear me, at least I believe in it," I whispered, squeezing his hand lightly, staring at it and sighing. What did I expect? That he squeezed my hand back?

"Did not I tell you not to frighten me?" I smiled, at least I tried to smile.

"Please open your eyes again, you can not leave me alone. I need you!"

The tears started to flow, and I was shaking all over.

"He needs some rest now, you can come back later," the nurse said and put her hand on my shoulder.

_,Peace? He has peace, he sleeps!‘_

"I'll be back soon."

With a heavy heart, I kissed his hand and let him go. After closing the door, I leaned against it and closed my eyes.

 

_‚Pull yourself together, you have to make a few calls‘_

I picked up my phone and was about to dial when my eyes caught on a prohibition sign. Slowly and with a constricted heart, I went outside. First I called his mother, and I could feel her concern on the phone. She promised to leave with his husband as soon as possible. The next call was to the Godfather himself. Robert was deeply upset and of course, released me from work as long as I wanted. Then I called Chuck. "Hey, nice to hear from you," he called excitedly, as he was, into the phone.

"Alright with you?"

If that happened three days ago, he would at least be here, but he had to go to some fucking conference.

_‚Damn Chuck!‘_

If I had a fair grip on myself during the last two talks, the desperation broke over me with full force. With quivering lips, I pressed the phone briefly to my body, before I began to speak.

"It ... Something happened. I'm in the hospital, "I mumbled.

"What ... wait, I'll take a few steps," he answered.

After a few endless seconds, I heard his voice again. I told him under sobbing what had happened and he tried to comfort me somewhat.

"I'll take the next plane, I'll be there soon, hold on. Please do not worry too much, everything will be fine, Gabriel is strong," he said before I hung up and collapsed on the stone floor whimpering.

That could not be real.

_,What if …?‘_

Inwardly, I slapped myself at all to think of something like that.

"Are you alright?" An older lady asked me, and I nodded.

After I calmed down and made some steps in the park, I went back to the intensive care unit. Since Gabriel's health, apart from the coma, was currently not in great shape, I had to pass through a lock and got a reasonably sterile turquoise-green tunic.

"Yes, I know, a sexy nurse looks different."

Smiling, I sat down next to him on the bed, took his hand and looked around the room.

"Guess, do you have any idea how many sockets are in the small room? You do not miss anything here; your body functions are closely monitored. However, if you saw that you had a bladder catheter and a feeding tube, you would freak out.

That alone is reason enough to wake up again. But at least you breathe independently. On the one hand, it is not bad that you are calm and do not always interrupt me. But on the other hand, I miss your voice, and I miss you. You've become the one I never thought I'd find or deserve.

You give me strength and courage, without you, I break. You are the rock in my life. Gabriel, please do not leave me alone!"

The tears began to run again and dripped from my chin.

"Please come back to me. I can not live without you!"

Gradually I calmed down again. The sobs became a soft whimper until I heard only the beeping of his heartbeat on the monitor. The nurse came back and hung up a new infusion.

"Flu medication," she smiled as I looked questioningly at her.

"Do not you want to rest a bit? We will inform you when there is something new ",

"I want to be here when he wakes up," I answered, shaking my head and looking back at Gabriel.

"He needs a little rest and you too. Treat yourself both a few hours. "

"See you tomorrow, I love you," I whispered, kissing his forehead.

 

 _,It‘s your fault. It's your fault if he dies_ ,‘ the devil snapped on my shoulder, and I felt hot and cold. _‚He vomited, you had to go to the hospital with him immediately!‘_ _‚Not everyone goes to the hospital immediately after the flu,‘_ the angel intervened.

 _‚He fell down the stairs, that's screaming for concussion!‘_ The devil shouted. _‚Stop it, self-reproaches do not bring anything now, you did not know it, and your husband will not die,‘_ the angel made me hope.

"Where are you?" Cas exclaimed as I held my phone to my ear after picking it up.

"On the way home."

"See you soon," he murmured and hung up.

As I went up the driveway he stormed towards me and took me in a tight hug. Dean was also there, and the tears started to run again.

"Robert told us. He said you need a bit of mental support. "

"Thank you for being here," I sobbed and opened the door with trembling hands.

"We'll visit him tomorrow," Cas said, and I shook my head.

"You are not relatives, they will not let you," I mumbled. "Only when his immune system is okay again, and he is transferred to the normal infirmary."

"When will that be?", Dean asked, and I made coffee with a sigh.

"I do not know, maybe in a few days."

"Promise me you'll be sleeping for a few hours," Cas smirked, kissing my forehead before they disappeared into the night.

When I stood by the stairs and looked up, I saw Gabriel in front of me.

"Honey, come on, I'm lonely up here," he laughed and disappeared into the bedroom.

As fast as I could, I stormed up the stairs and stood in a dark room.

"I can not be without you," I whispered, and the pain that constricted my heart nearly took my breath away.

The breakfast tray was still there, and I took it in both hands.

"Have not we been through enough? Has not our love been tested often enough?

Have not we been separated often enough? " I screamed desperately into the darkness and threw the tray on the floor. Shards mingled with cold coffee and the sticky slices of bread. Then I sank to my knees and began to cry unrestrained.

"No," I said after I calmed down and got up to get some cleaning supplies.

At the wedding altar, I had promised Gabriel to always be there for him. No matter what.

 _‚I will not give up that easy, nor despair. I will prove to you that you can rely on me_ _if not now then when?‘_


	2. Chapter 2

With some books in my luggage, I went back to the hospital the next day. Gabriel did not wake up this day either, but he was feeling a little better.

"If he keeps fighting like this, he'll be able to get to the normal ward soon," the doctor smirked, pointing his thumb upwards.

"Do you hear? Then more people can come to visit you," I sighed with relief and squeezed his hand.

 

On the third day, not much was left of my intentions.

I was desperate, and the trouble was that I was not allowed to show Gabe and did not want to show him how bad I felt. The hours I had slept could be counted on one hand. At night, I woke up again and again from my twilight sleep and after brief disorientation, I grab on the side of the bed next to me, and I realize that I miss a part. An important part of my life, an important part of me.

"Please come with me," the doctor said, asking me to follow him.

Where had the warmth disappeared in his voice? I had a bad feeling.

"What's happening? Is my husband feeling worse? "I asked in a panic.

"It's not about your husband, I'm worried about you," he said, gesturing for me to sit on the chair.

"I'm fine," I sighed with relief, shaking my head.

"The last thing your husband needs is that you collapse, how many hours have you slept in the last three days?" he asked while he shone with a slit lamp in my eyes.

"Not much," I answered, swallowing.

"Food?" He wanted to know.

"No appetite," I mumbled, shrugging

"I could prescribe you a sedative. You do not do anything good for your body."

I shook my head, and the doctor sighed.

"Suggestion. I will consult with my senior physician and hospitalize you for a few days," he said, and I raised my eyebrows in question because I did not know what to say.

"Since you're hardly going to get away from your husband anyway, I'll get you a bed in the infirmary and make sure you get three meals a day." "Really?" I asked, looking at him in disbelief.

"For that, you have to promise me to sleep and eat," he smiled.

"Everything. Thank you," I said in tears and wanted to hug him, but at the last moment decided to shake his hand.

I did not expect that they were all so nice and friendly and, above all, empathetic.

Sleeping alone was the worst thing for me in this situation. Of course, I knew that I could go to the others at any time and we were in constant contact, but I spent most of my time in the hospital anyway.

_‚A cake as thanks will not be enough‘_

My heart was a little lighter, and I made my way back to Gabriel. From afar I saw Chuck, and the water was back in my eyes.

"You look awful, when was the last time you slept?", Chuck asked me startled, and I burst into tears again.

I clung to him and sobbed uninterruptedly.

"Shh," he murmured, stroking my back. "Everything will be alright."

"I can sleep in the cemetery," I laughed in tears. "Thank you for being here."

"Gabriel is like my brother," he sighed and stared through the window of the ICU on Gabe.

"I'm sorry I could not come earlier. What happened? Tell me everything."

Chuck took my hand in his, and we sat down on the two small chairs.

"It's all so unreal," I sobbed and took a few deep breaths to get myself under control.

After I told him everything and we talked to a doctor and asked him to let Chuck into the sickroom, we both stood by Gabriel's bed.

"Do you think he hears us?" Chuck asked me.

"I'm sure," I said, smiling.

"God Gabe, I have so much to tell you," he began, talking and talking.

We laughed together, and for a moment I forgot my sadness. Chuck was such a happy nature and never in a bad mood. That's what I admired about him, and it made me so happy and proud to be one of his friends.

 

"Can I help ...?" I asked the nurse the next day when she wanted to send me out to wash Gabriel and change the sheets.

"Of course."

The nurse, Betty, was about my age and we got closer on a friendly level. I told her about getting to know each other, about the conventions, and she was amazed.

"Good that he does not talk against it," I laughed, looking at Gabriel.

"Do you like to shave him?" Betty asked me.

"The last time I cut him," I smirked. "Do that, because I do not want to be to blame when he wakes up, and his beautiful face is disfigured."

"I have good news and bad news for you," the doctor told me on the fifth day.

"The bad first," I sighed and sat on the chair.

Being a pessimist, I always go out of the worst.

"We, unfortunately, need your bed, you will be dismissed," he smirked, and I nodded.

"It's alright, I feel better, thanks for that," I smiled.

"The good news is that your husband will be mislaid tomorrow, the immune system is fine again," he smiled, and now I really wanted to hug him.

"That's great news, thank you," I said with tears in my eyes. "Thank you for everything."

"Hey Gabriel," I said half an hour later and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Tomorrow you will mislay, I have called everyone, all those who have been worried for days and they will come to visit you. Now it's up to you, and it would be nice if they could look into your eyes. Please open your beautiful eyes."

I lay down on the bed with him as best I could, letting my fingers run through his hair. It was such a great feeling to feel him again.

"I love you, you're the best thing that happened to me in my life. We've been through so much in the last three years. It only made us stronger. We survive that, too, I know because I believe in both of us," I whispered. I put my hand on his heart and kissed his neck.

"I could do with you now what I would want, and you would not be able to fight back," I murmured, stroking his chest.

My hand moved lower, and I nibbled lightly on his earlobe.

"I would do anything to get you back to me," I breathed in his ear, and I lightly stroked his lower body.

 _'Eva, what are you doing? Patients harassment_ ', I scolded me and giggled slightly.

The beeping of the monitor told me that his heartbeat had increased by two bars and I straightened up a bit to look into his face.

"I know that you hear and feel me. Wake up, my angel," I said, and my heart beat faster, too.

"Please Gabriel, please come back to me!"

After endless minutes of hope, I sighed and laid my head on his chest and heard Betty come in the door and wish us a ‚good night‘.

 

I slept that night. I dreamed about my husband. I dreamed that he opened his eyes and closed me in his arms. I dreamed that everything was the same as before.

"Fuck," I moaned and sat up halfway up. That was not a good sleeping position.

I stopped in the middle of the movement, and my heart briefly stopped.

"Gabriel?" I said softly as two golden eyes stared at me and I pressed the alarm button. "Great God, you're awake!"

_‚Say something, or have you forgotten to speak?!‘_

"Who are you?" He asked in surprise, just staring at me.

 

"It's me, Eva," I smiled and he frowned.

_‚Do not mess with me, you actor!‘_

But a bad feeling spread in my stomach, and an inner voice told me that was not played.

"I do not know you," Gabe replied, shaking his head.

"Your wife?" I replied, pointing to our rings.

"You are not my wife," he mumbled, and at that moment the doctor and two nurses came in.

I got off the bed, and now it was me staring at him.

"Mr.****?" The doctor asked while he shone with a slit lamp in his eyes. "Do you know what happened?"

Gabriel shook his head, and I took a few steps back because my heart was just cramping.

"What's the last thing you remember?" He said, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"I had a barbecue with my wife and sons at Bobby's. It was my birthday," Gabriel replied.

"How old are you?" The doctor asked.

"44," Gabriel replied.

"We'll check you thoroughly, rest now," the doctor smiled and nodded to me.

I followed him out and tried to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat.

"Your husband suffers from amnesia, he lacks the past three and a half years. I'm sorry," he sighed, and I shook my head in disbelief.

"Come ..." I murmured and cleared my throat. "Will the memory come back?"

"It's too early to say that," he replied, placing a hand on my shoulder. "It's important now to push him to nothing, I know it's hard, but you have to give him time.

Do you have someone to talk to? It is important to you that you are not alone now." I nodded and swallowed the tears.

 

Everything was spinning in my head. On the one hand, I wanted to go back to Gabriel, but on the other hand, I wanted to get away as fast as possible.

I headed for the exit and made a detour to the tobacconist. Then I sat down in the park on a bench and lit a cigarette. My brain was working at full speed, but no clear idea came together.

On the way home I passed the church where we had married. I never was a truly religious person, and that's why it seemed a bit hypocritical, but I went in and lit a candle. Then I sat down on a bench and stared at the altarpiece.

"Mrs. ****? "A voice asked, tearing me out of my thoughts.

"Father," I smiled and shook his hand. "You remember me?"

"How could I forget one of my most beautiful weddings?" He smirked. "How are you?"

With tears in my eyes, I told him everything.

"What did I do to make him punish me like that?" I mumbled.

"Do not think of it as a punishment but see it as a task," he said, squeezing my hand. "I'm sure you both can do it because you're meant for each other."

The consoling words of the pastor gave me new courage.

_‚How, I do not know yet, but I will not give up Gabriel, he's my life‘_

 

"Oh my god, you look crappy," Lucifer greeted me as I arrived at the set.

"Charming as always," I smiled as he took me into a tight hug.

"What's the state of affairs?" Sam asked with a coffee coming in the door.

"Let's wait for the others," I said, grabbing a coffee myself.

After half an hour in the lounge, the rest of the cast came.

"There is good news and bad news," I said, taking a deep breath.

"The good first," Cas smiled.

"Gabriel woke up and is lying on the ward. You can visit him anytime," I replied. General applause and screaming.

"And the bad news?" Robert asked, and I swallowed.

"He has forgotten the last three and a half years. He does not recognize me, "I replied with quivering lips.

"That can not be," said Mary shocked and hugged me.

I clung to her like a drowning man and sobbed unrestrainedly. No one really knew what to say, and there are no words in such a situation.

When I caught myself again after a few minutes, we all sat down at the table.

"We'll bomb him with the last three years," Dean said, and the others agreed, but I shook my head.

"The doctor says we should give him time and make it slow because we do not know how his body reacts to it when he is showered with so many emotions at once.

Ok, I should go home, I need a shower urgently," I smirked.

"You can sleep here too, in the trailer, near us," Sam replied.

"The key is at home," I sighed.

"You should not be alone," Cas said, hugging me. "Come with me." I nodded. I was too tired and glad that I did not have to go alone in the empty house.

"Cas," I whispered as I lay in bed and he was on the couch.

"Yes?" He replied, and when I did not say anything, he came to bed with me. "We can do it."

He hugged me tightly to his chest and stroked my hair.

"And when he says, ‚now I can start a new life, I do not want you anymore?‘" I sobbed.

"No, because he does not know what he's going to miss," Cas replied, holding me tight. "You are a strong, self-confident woman; please do not despair now. You two have already gone through so much and made it."

"But if ..." I whispered.

"There is no ‚but‘, do not even think about such a crap!" He interrupted me.

"And try to sleep a little bit now."

Sighing, I closed my eyes, and he wiped the tears from my cheeks.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'll pick you up around noon," Crowley called after me as I made my way home.

He did not have much work to do today, and I was glad he wanted to join me. I was afraid to go to Gabriel, but I wanted to see him, even if I just sat there silently.

"Ready?" Crowley asked as he knocked on the door and I took a deep breath.

"Yes?"

Gabriel had a single room, all the tubes were gone, and he looked good.

"Hey Crowley, hey ... Eva ... right?" He smirked, and I nodded.

I felt like the first time we met at the Christmas party. As nervous as a teenager, I barely dared to look at him. We pushed two chairs to his bed and sat down.

"You scared the hell out of us, dude" he grinned, patting Gabe‘s shoulder. "Good that you have such a fast-reacting woman."

He winked at me, and I saw my husband nervously playing with his wedding ring. After half an hour, Crowley's cell phone rang.

"I have to go, I'm sorry, but I'll be back, I promise," he said, winking at me.

"Shall ... do you want me to go, too?" I asked uncertainly and swallowed.

"I ..."

Nodding, I got up, set the chair back, and held my breath as I headed for the door, afraid he would hear my sobs.

"I'm sorry," he called after me as I stormed out the door.

"Hey Cinderella ... do not," Crowley said sympathetically, as I ran into his arms and started crying,

"Come on, let's go back to the others."

 

With Dean and Mary, I went back the next day to see Gabriel.

"I can not," I mumbled suddenly and stormed out of the room.

The tears ran down my face, and I sank in the hall on the floor, sobbing.

"Eva!" Dean shouted and ran to me.

"I ... it's ..." I whimpered and began hyperventilating.

My heart cramped so painfully that I could not breathe.

"Here," Mary said, handing me a paper bag. "Take a deep breath in and out."

She sat down next to me and rubbed circles on my back. Dean knelt on the other side and took my hands in his.

"I can not ..." I murmured again and again.

"Give yourself time."

"You have to give both of you some time."

Mary tried to calm me down, hugged my head to her shoulder and stroked my hair.

"I know it's hard, but you're strong Eva."

"Maybe it's better …"

"No, it's not," Dean replied, placing his thumb under my chin and lifting it, so I had to look into his eyes. "It is not, it takes time, trust me. You must not give up that easily. You are destined for each other, you belong to our family, and we fight for our happiness because we deserve it."

I was so glad that everyone was there for me, giving me support, encouraging me and accompanying me during this difficult time.

 

A new day. I planned to bring some things to the hospital for him, Including his cell phone. I wrote the password on a piece of paper and stuck it on it.

With trembling hands, I grabbed the little bag, though for a moment whether I should write him a letter, but rejected the idea again. With Cas as backing, I set off.

It hurt to watch him talk so well to everyone while I just sat there silently. From time to time he glared at me and every time my heart jumped with joy. Somehow I was glad that the doctors came to the visit and we could go again. It just hurt too much to see him and to know that he could not remember anything. I had a very long conversation with Chuck.

"It's time for his children to visit him, I'll get them. And you do not want to come?" He asked as he got into the taxi.

"I looked in the mirror today, and I think I have to do something for myself, as I look, he can not fall in love with me again," I smiled and waved goodbye.

At the hairdresser, my thoughts turned again to Gabriel. Chuck had a good influence on him, he always had, and I knew that. In the late afternoon, I went to bed, curled up in the embryo position and pressed Gabriel's pillow tightly against me.

_‚How did this day go? Could Gabriel's kids and Chuck do something? Did he look in his cell phone? Can he remember something? Does he want to remember?‘_

Thousands of questions were buzzing in my head.

I saw his face in front of me. His eyes showed no emotion in the last days: no passion, no desire, no love for me, no sparkle, no glow. In his eyes, I was a stranger. Any fan at one of the conventions. Doubts came up.

Gabriel was an open man, but he has been closed to me in the last few days. No questions about our relationship ... nothing. And there were only two reasons. Either he did not want me anymore, or he was afraid to say something wrong or to do it. Like me. Afraid to be with him. Afraid of being rejected.

 _‚He has fallen in love with me before, why, not again ...?!_ _If his memory would not come back, I would start over again ... or has that been our chance yet?‘_

 

At some point, I fell into a restless sleep.

In the middle of the night, I jumped up and looked at my phone. Chuck.

‚We have brought a little light into the darkness today. His children told him about the divorce and I told him about the wedding. Not too much, we know that we should not overstretch him. He did not show much reaction, but it was a start. Kiss. Chuck‘

,Thank you. Kiss,‘ I wrote back, taking a deep breath.

After all. A start. Smiling, I closed my eyes as my phone beeped again. Gabriel.

I stared at the device, and a hot shudder hit me, but my brain did not pass the stimulus to my index finger, and it did not move because I was afraid to open the message. Then it beeped again. Another one from Gabriel.

,We need to talk‘

The second:

‚Forget that. Can you please come over, I have to talk to you‘

I had to smile because that was just my husband.

, Have you ever looked at the clock, it's just after 2 in the morning. I'll be there just before noon. Eva,‘

, Why are you not sleeping?‘

, Why are you not sleeping?‘

'I have to think about a lot of things'

,Just like me‘

,Sleep a little, you have dark circles. Smiley‘

‚If you cannot remember me, at least you still have your humor‘

,See you‘

A start.

 

With a beating heart, I stood in front of the door of the hospital room the next day. Donna and Jody were with him and between giggles and laughter, we greeted each other lovingly.

"We have to go back, our flight will be soon," Donna said after a few minutes. She winked at Jody and me whispered in my ear. "See you on the set."

"Sit down," Gabriel said, and I got a chair.

"Listen ... Eva," he began, clearing his throat.

Sighing quietly, I closed my eyes.

"What?" He asked, startled.

"Nothing ... It's just ... forget it," I smiled, shaking my head.

"Have I ... did I say anything wrong?"

"No, it's alright. You have not called me Eva for three years," I said, feeling tears rising again.

I swallowed these and looked him in the eyes.

"But how?"

"Pet names. Honey, sweetie, baby ... please forget it, that was stupid of me," I whispered, lowering my head in shame.

It was not easy for him, I realized, and at that moment I cursed myself to confront him with such trivialities.

"I'm sorry," he replied.

"No ... no, you do not have to apologize for anything; please keep talking."

"I ... I'm sorry I can remember everything, just not you.

You seem to be an important part of my life. I want so much, but I can not."

"Gabriel, I do not want to do anything wrong, I do not want to overwhelm you, I'll give you all the time you need," I answered, looking into his eyes.

It was hard for me. It was so damn hard. My head ached, my heart ached, I had cold fingers and shivered slightly. Tears were gathering in my eyes, and as much as I tried, I could not swallow them anymore.

"And now we are where we want to go," he smirked, and I sighed.

 

 _,Does he really want to take a distance? We live together in a house._ _Well, if need be I can move to the trailer.‘_

Anxiously, I looked at him and sighed. But if he wanted that, then, of course, I would agree. Even if my heart would break. Countless thoughts shot through my head, and I had to give myself an inner slap to follow what he said.

"I want to remember, and I want to ask you to help me with this.

Please do not keep your distance, I still have my feelings. I am not stone, and it hurts to see you so desperate. Stay with me and help me, please. For me, for us. We are married and that must have a reason."

For days I suddenly felt hope again.

"Really?" I murmured with quivering lips as the tears ran down my face.

Then I saw a little sparkle in his eyes. A sparkle that I had not seen in days and I felt warm around my heart.

"Really," he answered, and even from the corner of his eye, a tear broke its way.

He took my hand in his, and I laughed in tears. The barrel-heavy stone that fell from my heart nobody could imagine.

"I can not remotely imagine what you've been through in the last few days, I'm sorry," he whispered, and I shook my head.

"That moment ... was all worth it," I smiled, squeezing his hand.

Suddenly he groaned and narrowed his eyes.

"What?" I asked in alarm and jumped up from the chair.

"I ... dunno," he answered, shaking his head.

When I put my hand on his shoulder he groaned again, and I pulled it back again.

"Should I call a doctor?"

"No, no, all right," he murmured, blinking a few times.

"You triggered me," he chuckled, and I raised my eyebrows questioningly.

"What have I done?"

"Flashbacks, scraps of images, memories, not clearly recognizable but ...", he said, laying back exhausted in the pillow.

"Gabriel, but it can be dangerous, and if it is too much, please call the doctor. Promise me that. He told me that everybody reacts differently and I do not want you to over-strain, I would not survive that a second time," I said urgently and sighed. Because I knew my stubborn. If my husband had something in mind, then he made sure he got it.

"Do not worry, I'm fine."

"Did you look at the photos on your phone or your SMS history?"

"Not yet."

"Then please let me be with you if you do that. Give yourself time. I'm serious!"

I knew that Gabriel was strong. But I still worried about what might happen.

"Do not worry," he waved casually, patting my hand.

 

"Lunch," a nurse called, placing the tray on the table and disappearing again.

Gabriel hobbled to the table and lifted the plastic lid off the plate.

"I'm going to starve here," he sighed, poking in the mashed potatoes.

"When we get home, I'll cook you something decent," I grinned.

"You can cook?"

"My job."

"Since I have made a good choice," he replied and winked at me.

"How's your ankle?"

"The gypsum will come down in a few days," he murmured with his mouth full and motioned for me to sit down.

"Do you want something too?"

"Eat, to make you big and strong," I grinned.

When I looked at my watch the next morning, I realized with astonishment that I had slept eleven hours. Really slept through for days. I went down to the kitchen and made coffee and drank it from Gabriel's cup.

_‚Yesterday was a good day‘_

Happy smiling, I was already in the hospital with my thoughts and wanted to put the cup back on the table. Instead, it wobbled, flew to the ground and broke.

"Shit," I groaned as I picked up the pieces and cut my hand.

"Everything alright?", I asked in panic when I saw my husband lying in bed, chalk-white.

"The next enema you can give me then again because that was not pleasant," he groaned.

Astonished, I looked at him, and my heart stopped for a moment before I sat down on the bed.

"You ... you remember that?"

He thought for a moment, and I could read on his face that he himself could hardly believe what he had just said, and then he nodded, smiling.

"What happened?" He murmured, gently stroking my wrapped hand.

"Not bad," I smirked. "But I owe you a new coffee cup."

He looked at me for a moment and blinked a few times. "You broke my snoopy cup?" He asked horrified.

I bought him the cup. Another memory. Goosebumps ran all over my body. Luckily I could have kissed him. But we were not so far because I did not want to overuse anything.

"Spiders ... you're scared of spiders, and your niece's name is Lisa and ... and ... you had a black VW Golf ... and ..." he called excitedly, and I put my hands on his shoulders.

"Shh ... slowly Romeo."

"Romeo," he repeated, and I could tell he had a flashback again.

His heart was racing, as was mine.

"Calm down," I smiled, and he lay back exhausted in the pillow.

"I'm so tired," he whispered, closing his eyes.

"What do you think of it when you sleep a little, and I'll be back in a few hours?" I said softly, stroking his cheek. He grunted, and I stayed a moment before closing the door softly behind me.

_‚Gabriel remembers, the broken pieces slowly reassembled. Everything will be alright again‘_

In the park, I enjoyed the warm spring air and relieved I took a deep breath.

_‚From now on it will go uphill again, and I will get my husband back‘_

At that moment, I was the luckiest person in the world.

 

As I was so hungry, I went to the set to eat with the others.

"That's great news," Cas smiled, taking me in a hug.

"I knew it, everything will be fine," Sam replied, and I nodded, smiling.

In the afternoon I went to the kitchen to bake. In two days Gabriel would be released, and for that, I wanted to thank the two infirmaries.

My phone beeped. My husband.

‚Hey Honey, I know I should not have, but I browsed my phone. I can remember everything. Come quickly to me; I love you‘

Again and again, I read this news and tears of joy ran down my face.

As I was about to take off my apron, a sharp pain shot through my body, so I had to hold myself panting at the table. Stunned, I stared at my trembling hands, and at that moment I knew something had happened.

"Gabriel!"

Head over heels, I rushed into the hospital room and found an empty bed.

"Where?"

The naked panic came over me, and I ran aimlessly up and down the station.

"Where is my husband, Mr. ****?" I called, grabbing a sister's arm.

"In the emergency room, I'll take you there," she answered, and we hurried to the elevator.

"What happened?"

"I can not tell you anything, I'm sorry."

"I'm his wife, what happened?" I screamed, and tears closed my throat.

"Your husband had a cardiac arrest, I'm sorry, I do not know anything," she replied.

I had the feeling we crossed the entire hospital twice, it seemed like it took a long time to get to the ER.

_‚Please, that can not be true now!‘_

"I want to see my husband, please," I sobbed, but the nurse kept me back from the door.

Minutes passed that seemed like hours to me. Praying, worried, hoping.

"Please sit down, someone will come soon," the nurse replied, and I let myself fall into the chair.

"Mrs. ****?" The doctor said, and I jumped up. "Your husband had a cardiac arrest; we were able to resuscitate him; so far he is stable."

"Thanks," I whispered, sitting down and burying my face in my hands.

"You can go to him anytime," he smiled and walked down the hallway.

Breathing with relief, I tried again to bring myself under control. Seeing Gabriel like this almost tore my heart. Like a few days ago, he hung on the monitor again. From the corner, I grabbed a chair and pushed it to the bed, took his hand, kissed it and pressed it to my cheek.

"You know that I should be mad at you," I whispered in tears.

For a few moments, I stared at him silently. Gabriel had closed his eyes and was in a state of dusk.

"Your strength is my grip," I whispered. "Your power is my motivation. Your confidence is my hope. Your heart is my heart. Your life is my life ... "

"... your love is my love", he smiled and opened his eyes.

"Was it worth it?" I asked, shaking my head.

"Yes, worth every heartbeat. You were worth it. You're worth it. I love you", he answered, squeezing my hand.

 

In the next part ...

How much can a human endure?


End file.
